Wednesday, January 26, 2011

It sucks to be a Buddhist.

"Thank you, sir, for cutting me off on the highway! What an auspicious circumstance, to have that happen at 70 miles per hour! When I slammed on my brakes and that tray of 14 cupcakes tumbled onto the floor; when my GPS slid out from under the seat and almost lodged itself under the gas pedal; and when I realized, afterward, that wet sand had now became stuck in the crack between the touch screen and the case, I was able to experience anger! This made me feel compassion for humanity, realizing firsthand how we suffer from difficult emotions! I felt more connected with all beings, and when I shouted 'You fucking douchebag,' and felt the compulsion to chase you onto your exit, it gave me insight. Have others felt this way, about me? Perhaps the driver was late for a fire, or his wife was giving birth. Maybe he was ten minutes late for the asshole convention where he was to receive a prestigious award. I dedicate this experience on the highway to all beings, so that, in becoming more patient through it, I may benefit them all more fully."

If you see the Buddha on the road, please kill him for me.


Anonymous said...

How odd,that just this morning watching idiot, selfserving parents vie for parking places in the snow while I was trying to protect y little charges from becoming cannon fodder for angry drivers I said to my co-worker" If this were Minnesota, you could walk into traffic and everyone would stop" Maybe the assholes from NY have moved west. MOm

Eric said...

Nah, you know what? This was truly a mistake. The person actually waved at me. I was still pissed about the cupcakes though so it was probably lost on me.

Elly Lou said...

That's why I rely on mass transit. I hit way fewer vehicles in the tunnel that way.