Dear Shit Detective:
Today a friend of mine was struck by an urgent need to visit the public restroom while running the path around the lake. This friend of mine had neither the time nor the inclination to fashion a seat cover out of toilet paper, so he squatted hovering over the seat. Unfortunately the drop was too far and built up too much velocity. Public toilet water splashed upwards directly into his asshole. Will this friend of mine catch a disease?
Minutia - I've not moved. I kind of want to, but every time I think of some super clever and unique name for a new blog, I check and find out it's not unique at all....