Trying to clean up the dark and forgotten places in the kids' room I found a Luke Skywalker action figure whose head was trapped under the post of their bunk-bed. I told Ambrose to pull him out when I lifted it. This particular series of dolls have rubbery heads, and its face was squashed flat.
Ambrose laughed. "He looks like a douchebag!"
"WHAT did you just say?" I said, shocked and amused. He repeated it.
"That is not a good word for kids to use Ams," I told him, "it's one of the 'bad' words."
"But you called me a douchebag last week," he said, smiling.
"No way. That is not possible. I would never call you that."
"You did!" he said.
I went back in my mind and, yes, hazily remember an episode of him not doing something I asked for the nineteenth time and me being late to drive them to the bus and a few of the adults-only words flying out. I've said some bad things to, or in front of, the boys, but calling them douchebags goes past the our-free-spirited-dad-and-his-colorful-temper level of acceptable and closer to the I-burn-my-children-with-cigarettes spectrum.
"Oh, shit" I said.
Minutia - I've not moved. I kind of want to, but every time I think of some super clever and unique name for a new blog, I check and find out it's not unique at all....