Paint Sample Rejects.

We were picking out paint samples today for the basement. The names, like "Mint Shake," "Sun Shower," "Afternoon Tea" are almost as important a factor in choosing paint as the way it looks. "Omelet" was ruled out immediately: too greasy. The name should sound like a Real Simple magazine cover, making you picture a tangerine rind floating in a tumbler of spring water. Here are some others that didn't make the cut:

Snot Bubble©          Skidmark                    
Red Rocket              Afternoon Delight           
Martin Sheen           Puckered Pink            
Mahogany Cleft       Porn Dungeon       
Collie's Breath         Urinal Cake Teal
Anal Mist                 Morning Wood
Bleached Asshole